"It does not require a majority to prevail, but rather an irate, tireless minority keen to set brush fires in people's minds." Samuel Adams

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Put old people in prison

Here's an idea for AARP to start promoting: Let's put all senior citizens in prision and the criminals in nursing homes. This way the seniors would have access to showers, hobbies, and walks; they would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment, wheel chairs, and they'd receive money instead of paying it out. They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be helped instantly if they fell or needed assistance. Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be ironed and returned to them. A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their meals and snacks to their cell. They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose. They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling, pool, and education, simple clothing, shoes, slippers, and PJs. In addition, legal aid would be free on request. There would be a private, secure room for all, with an outdoor exercise yard. Each senior could have a PC, TV, radio, and daily phone calls. There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.

The criminals, on the other hand, would get cold food and be continually left alone unsupervised. Lights would be off at 8 pm and showers provided once a week. They would live in a tiny room, pay $5000.00 a month, and have no hope of ever getting out.

1 comment:

Brian C. Caffrey said...

Sounds like a big benefit to the seniors. Cons might complain, though.